Tales from the Panchatantra - Modern Style

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.

The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own?”

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!!!” So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

 

Moral: Be up-to-date with technology trends.

 

FM Radio through the Net

A li'l birdie (in fact several li'l birdies) tells me that people in Hyderabad can now listen to the popular FM Radio Channels like Radio Mirchi, Radio City, S FM, Big FM & Rainbow FM via the internet!!!

Some kind soul is taking a lot of pains to re-broadcast these radio channels over the net. Peace be upon him :-)

But please be sure that you have a blazing fast internet connection - broadband connections of 128 kbps speeds or greater will be better. If you do have such a speed connection, then head over to VoiceVibes and choose your favorite stations!!!

Enjoyyy......

Listen to Radio on the Net

A lot of the comments on this blog are in the Radio post wherein people ask me as to how to listen to radio off the net! For the umpteenth time lemme tell you that one can listen to FM stations like Radio City or Radio Mirchi on the net ONLY if someone Re-Broadcasts it. And by Re-Broadcasting, I mean that someone has to take the Radio feed from any FM transceiver and feed it onto a PC through the line-in port and use servers such as Shoutcast's to broadcast the feed that can be accessed by a URL! (phew!). I'll explain in detail some other day.

But apart from Radio City & Radio Mirchi, there are loads of other FM stations that broadacast both Hindi and English songs (Sorry! I haven't yet come across a Telugu station yet!). For the details, refer to my earlier Post: Online Radio. I use the Yahoo Widget mentioned in that post to configure and listen to various stations all throughout the day.

The ones that I listen to most of the time are:

• RadioOfIndia


• HumFM


• OneDotFM


• ApnaRadio


• BombayBeatz


• DesiSoundz


• Trishul


• ApniAwaaz


• DeathFM


• SnakeNet

I'd like to warn you that not all of them might be functional : If I don't get a stream from one source, I switch onto the next so can't say for sure which one works round-the-clock! For you to play these streams, you'd need Windows Media Player or Real Player installed in your system and yeah, a pretty fast net connection is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL!

Related Post: Watch Cricket Online!

Romantic Lines..with Twist at the End!

Most Romantic Lines (THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE)

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other
-- That is until I met your brother.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes;
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “Go to hell!!!”

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

 

Thanks to Vinod for sending in these!

Technical Definitions.....Hindi Gaane ke Saath!

Technical Definitions in Hindi poetry:

 

# Local variable
Mein pal do pal ka shayar hoon,
pal do pal meri kahani hai
pal do pal meri hasti hai..

# Global variable
Main har ik pal ka shayar hoon
har ik pal meri kahani hai
har ik pal meri hasti hai

# Null pointers
Mera jeevan kora kagaz
kora hi reh gaya.

# Dangling pointers
Maut bhi aati nahi
jaan bhi jati nahin.

# Goto
Ajeeb dastan hai yeh
Kahan shuru kahan khatam
Ye manzilen hain kaun si
Na woh samajh sake na hum

# Two Recursive functions calling each other
Mujhe kuchh kehna hein
mujhe bhi kuchh kehna hein
Pehle tum, pehle tum.

# The debugger
Jab koi baat bigad jaye
Jab koi mushkil pad jaye
Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz.

# From VC++ to VB
Yeh haseen vaadiyan
Yeh khula asmaan
Aa gaye hum kahan.

# Untrackable bug
Aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se.

# Unexpected bug (esp during presentation to client)
Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua

 

Tx to Sadhubaba & Satyadeep

 

Hyderabadi Ishtyle Shayari.....

HYDERABADI POEM

Hathaan mein hath milake,
Hathaan mein hath milake,
angoothi churake uno chali gayi,
abhi galae milne ku aari,kya karati ki kya ki.......


Chay peenae ku aake,
chay peenae ku aake,
saucer churaake uno chali gayi,
abhi full meals ku aari,kya karati ki kya ki.......


Pehlichh mulaakat mein ,
pehlichh mulaakat mein ,
five star mein uno merkoo chunna lagai,
abhi date pe lekae jaao bolri,kya karati ki kya ki.......


Sagai-sagai bolkae,
sagai-sagai bolkae,
puri shopping karali,
abhi shaadi-shaadi bolrikya karati ki kya ki.......


Tx to Mr. Vinod for sending this one....

Tenderest Love Ishtoree

This is a true story of a young college girl who passed away last month. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a lorry. She has a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them are true lovers. They always hanged about over the phone. You can never see her without her handphone. In fact she also changed her phone from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.

 

She spends half of the day talking with Shankar. Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. (Just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

 

After her death, people can’t carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called their neighbor, a "Saint" from Thailand (Pak Darin), who is a friend of her father. He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". Then her friends told Darin about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and places her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked. (Can u feel the fear? I'm shaking at this moment)

 

Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away. After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom. Shankar..."Atta, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Don’t tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her." Her mother replied....."You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they told him the truth about Priya.

 

Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don’t try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, I have a gift for her Please stop this nonsense". Then they show him the original death certificate to him. They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat)...

 

He said... "It’s not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me. Shankar was shaking. Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "See this is from Priya, see this..." he showed the phone to Priya’s family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation.

 

Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her SIM card since it is nailed inside the coffin they were so shocked and asked for Pak Darin's help again. Pak Darin brought his master (Phook Chen) to solve this matter. He & Darin worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...

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HUTCH has the best coverage J

 

Wherever you go, our network follows!!!!

 

 

Now don’t start cursing me…J J

 

Mike Hussey....

Tinku had a crush on Chinki. He had been showering her with attention, having long phone conversations with her, and gotten quite close to her. But he still didn't know if she liked him back "that" way.

He asked his best friend, an expert womaniser, how to figure that out. The laconic friend, gave him a cryptic 3-word piece of advice. Armed with this advice, he went to meet her. And looking at her intently, he asked,"Chinki, who do you think is the best batsman in the world right now?"

Chinki blushed and said, "Mike Hussey".Tinku was overjoyed. He knew now that Chinki liked him as much as he liked her!!!




After all, as his friend said, "Hussey, toh phasee".

Never Marry a...

• Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U.
• Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
• Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house..
• Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
• Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
• Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
• Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.
• Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.
• Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
• Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.

• Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY
  

Water Prank

A Cool Prank on YouTube